Seeing Scourge Again

[primus_seeress]

*the priestess is attempting to study, but she feels restless, somehow. Primus seems to be telling her that she's waiting for someone, or something... but is no more specific than that, no matter how much she questions him.*

*She sighs a bit, setting her work aside for the moment; she's made little progress, anyway. She centers herself on Primus, attempting to reduce this feeling of distraction.*

Comments

[primus_seeress]

She 'hmm's thoughtfully* As long as you are reasonably safe among them, I hope. It will still take much time, but it sounds like you are slowly making your way. I'm so glad that Cyclonus has been willing to support you through this. Don't be ashamed... you've made so much progress!

*Her optics brighten a bit, though she shakes her head lightly* No. It's enough to see you, and see that you are recovering, and that you haven't lost hope. Don't ever lose that -- I've been praying for your healing, and I will continue to do so.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Scourge hasn't really done any praying of his own--he'd feel guilty if Cyclonus caught him relying on something so silly. But he appreciates her doing it for him. "After...after what happened before, it can't get much worse. That keeps me going pretty well."

[primus_seeress]

*she winces a little* That is not terribly optimistic wording; things can be so much better than they were before. You still deserve more than you probably can, or will, accept as of yet. Have you kept up the fight, against your fear, and your pain? You mustn't grow complacent. *her tone is earnest, but also sympathetic*

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

*another shakey nod* I've been keeping up. I've been trying to put the whole thing out of my mind, focus on the future like Cyclonus and Ultra Magnus keep saying. It's just... *he keeps his face turned away from her, speaking in a shamed, soft voice* Sometimes I still want to just curl up in the corner and disappear.

[primus_seeress]

*She nods a bit, shifting her grip on his hand, simply to remind him that she has it, is here and listening* There will be moments like that, yes. I don't expect your past to disappear; there will be times when you are reminded. But don't be ashamed, please don't... Do you ever talk with Cyclonus about it, when this happens?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

"No." Again his fingers curl up, trying to find comfort in her grip. "I don't know if he'd understand, he'd probably just think I was being foolish again. I'd rather him see me strong than like that. I can hide it pretty well, these days."

[primus_seeress]

*she sighs* Hmm... I understand your reluctance to let him see that; but you shouldn't deal with the memories alone, either, when they come. I'm... torn between encouraging you to tell him anyway, or find a confidant.

I think he is willing to support you, emotionally, but I know it hurts your pride, both of you... *she shakes her head* But you need someone with you, when you remember - it will keep you from turning too far inward. *she frowns thoughtfully*

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Scourge's head jerks up, worry in his optics. "But...I mean, you talk to me, right?" He must be reading her wrong, she can't have meant that she'll leave. He doesn't have anyone else he can speak freely to.

[primus_seeress]

*she nods quickly, fingers moving ever so slightly to smooth at his hand, tone consoling* Of course; I will always be here for you to talk to. I only meant... it's been a good bit of time since you were here last; I was unsure if you still wished to come here.

*she attempts a little smile* No, I'm not going anywhere. Never hesitate to visit, if you are caught in memories.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

She'll get another small smile for that. "You're the only one I can talk to; I don't think I'll stop coming until you tell me to." Really, he can keep it in most days. But letting all his pain out to someone feels really good.

[primus_seeress]

*Auspex shakes her head* There is no fear of that, unless my presence begins to be a hindrance to your recovery. I don't wish you to become too dependent on me... but right now, you still need someone to confide in, I think. Speaking of which... is there anything that's given you trouble, since we last spoke?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Scourge pauses to purse his lips in thought, trying to call back any useful memories he's been trying to forget. "Not...well, nothing huge. I think some of the Autobots are starting to warm up to me, they have a thing for pathetic creatures."

[primus_seeress]

*Auspex's optics flicker in startled, rueful humor* You are not pathetic, you are recovering from trauma, and I will insist on that, if anyone asks.

But, good... I'm glad they are. The more people you have supporting you, the better. It will make you stronger.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

"Support? Nah, I wouldn't go that far." But her praise makes him smile shyly. "They just don't complain about having me around."

[primus_seeress]

*This seems to disappoint her a little* Ah. Well... it's a start. Perhaps, ongoing truce will encourage them to make friends outside their faction.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

"Everyone's still used to fighting a war, I guess." Scourge shrugs. He's starting to uncurl a bit more, feeling freer about his language. "But sometimes we...well, sometimes it's nice."

[primus_seeress]

*Auspex nods quietly* At least it more-or-less removes the pressure of combat, from all the other hurdles in your path. And it will most definitely be a positive thing, if there is more inter-faction mingling, and you're not forced to deal exclusively with those of your people who still look down on you.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

A slight snort. "They all look down on me, Auspex. Faction just means the Decepticons do nastier things than the Autobots."

[primus_seeress]

*She makes a little grimace* I would hope that they respect what you've been through, rather than merely pitying you. Most would have been no better, had they been through what you have. Sympathy and pity are rather different things.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

"It's..." Scourge turns his face aside and drops her hands, letting himself lean on the doorpost of the temple. "People don't respect you for surviving. Don't begrudge me that I did, but don't think it's something worthy of praise."

[primus_seeress]

*Auspex sighs, optics dimming, voice subdued* So, am I the only one who finds joy in seeing your progress..? You've done so well! You were victorious over the bond Void inflicted on you - no small feat - and you're picking up your life again, and mending your relationships. There are so many worse ways circumstances could have gone... but you're here, and you are getting stronger.

*she stands, moving slightly to look him in the face* I am very proud of you.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

It takes a bit of self-control, but Scourge manages to keep looking her in the face, and even to smile a bit. "Yeah. I'm gettin' there. And..."

He looks upwards again, his wings first curling in and then folding back out again. "And it's better. I know it's better. It's just getting everyone else to get that that's the problem."

[primus_seeress]

*she smiles brightly, happy to see his smile, and sense him pushing aside his unease to look at her. She nods in agreement* They'll learn, as you change, and they see how much courage you're showing, for hanging on. I just wish for you to stay strong, until they do. Try not to be discouraged.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

"I still think you're bein' a little overoptimistic. I'm still clinging to Cyclonus, y'know. Not as much, but I am." The shy smile manages to linger, if only for her sake. It took a long time to remember how to smile.

[primus_seeress]

*Her own smile fades a little, as she looks away a bit* Perhaps so... but I know what I've observed in you, and I care little for them to judge you by your behavior, rather than your character.

From my perspective... if Cyclonus will allow you to do so, you should cling as much as you need, until you're ready to let go. *her expression fades to something more melancholy* I want to say that whatever negative opinions the others may have about that mean less than nothing... but I know how much appearance affects status amongst your people. On the other hand, I don't want you to give up, either. I know it can be done.