Scourge Arrives

[primus_seeress]

*Auspex is wandering in the wildernesses around her sanctuary. There are times she simply needs to see the sky and stars, and seek Primus in the landscape of her homeworld. She drifts over the plains, utilizing her seldom-used hover vehicle mode. She finds a peculiar outcropping of metal, transforms, and climbs up a little higher, to perch on it, and survey the scenery.*

*She has a suspicion Primus has a purpose for her being here... but doesn't he always? She murmurs a prayer as she watches the serene landscape.*

((originally dated 2006-10-14 23:23:00))

Comments

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

They belong to Void. They're his hands and feet, his guns and shield.

[primus_seeress]

*she nods* They don't care for him, but they follow him? Are they frightened of him as well? Do you have any bad memories of them?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

They aren't frightened. The Stunticronians weren't cruel all that often, but Jetstorm was his foremost torturer. And he was good.

[primus_seeress]

*Her optics flicker briefly* He... has his own issues, but he is recovering. I imagine, though, at the time, he was quite fearsome. Did Void inflict pain on you himself, or Jetstorm, or both?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Both. Can we not talk about this?

[primus_seeress]

*She nods again, speaking gently* All right. It cannot, and does not all need to be addressed at once. Something slightly less traumatic, then?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Not much about it all that wasn't traumatic. It's been...

*he pauses* Most of my life, really. A day before Void, a week and a half before being captured, and a month since he was defeated. Most of my life.

[primus_seeress]

*she sighs* I see... it makes it harder for you to think differently, if you've endured this for so much of your life. But it is not impossible.

How are you getting along with the other Decepticons, now?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

I try to stay out of their way. I don't like the looks they give me.

[primus_seeress]

They don't trust you? Or they disapprove of your outlook? *She murmurs softly, almost to herself* Either way, it can't be helping your self-image...

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

They think I'm a coward. Half of them don't trust me and the rest think I'm pathetic.

[primus_seeress]

*she shakes her head* There are times when the Decepticon culture can be very unhealthy... what does Cyclonus think?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

He hasn't said, but I know he's thinking the same thing. That I'm weak.

[primus_seeress]

*she looks at him critically* I can believe he may be disappointed in you, but perhaps not to the extent you imagine. Decepticon culture is one thing, but having a triad-mate is another. They tend to be close, whichever the faction.

That is why you wander alone? To avoid the others?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Yeah. I don't want anyone looking at me, least of all him. Cyc keeps a lot of things bottled up, but I can tell. He hated me at one point, when he though I'd defected on my own.

[primus_seeress]

The pain of betrayal runs deep; I'd understand if he'd felt you'd abandoned your people. But what was his reaction when he learned otherwise?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Surprised, I think. He apologized.

[primus_seeress]

And you think he was insincere? Or do you believe he disdains you despite the fact that your defection was not your choice?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

He accepts me back, but he still thinks I'm weak. Even if it wasn't my fault, I'm still a liability. I could hold everyone back.

[primus_seeress]

You still need time to heal. You can do this.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

*sour* Decepticons don't heal. They deal with things and then they get over it.

[primus_seeress]

*Auspex frowns, not terribly impressed* That sounds like healing to me. You're dealing with it. Now, from your perspective, what is in the way of your ability to function as a normal Decepticon? What can you do so you will not feel the need to wander out alone to avoid the others?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

I'm not sure. I thought I could just give it time. But it won't stop, I can't recharge without fear or stop jumping at shadows or yells. I can't help thinking every other moment that this is just a dream and that he'll come back for me again.

[primus_seeress]

*She studies him for a moment, as Primus reflects back some of his emotion* You are paranoid, subconsciously afraid to hope for yourself, and your mind will not put the past to rest. Those are the things you are in most need of overcoming.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

How do you know? You're not a mind-reader. *Primus, he hopes not*