Scourge Arrives

[primus_seeress]

*Auspex is wandering in the wildernesses around her sanctuary. There are times she simply needs to see the sky and stars, and seek Primus in the landscape of her homeworld. She drifts over the plains, utilizing her seldom-used hover vehicle mode. She finds a peculiar outcropping of metal, transforms, and climbs up a little higher, to perch on it, and survey the scenery.*

*She has a suspicion Primus has a purpose for her being here... but doesn't he always? She murmurs a prayer as she watches the serene landscape.*

((originally dated 2006-10-14 23:23:00))

Comments

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Because it takes such a brave mech to lay back and take whatever Void gives you. *grumbles*

[primus_seeress]

*she tightens her grip on his hand slightly, shaking her head at him* I hardly see what choice you had. But you lived through it, and you have the chance to heal. That is more than many have survived. *she frowns for a moment, and speaks softly, almost absently* Why did he keep you alive, even when he had killed others?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Wondered that a lot myself. I think he liked having someone to kick around, someone who reminded him of Galvatron. Or maybe he just did it on a whim because he was sick like that.

[primus_seeress]

It doesn't make sense... *she shrugs slightly at herself* but since when does the mind of Chaos make sense? Perhaps you simply had the right personality, that he felt could be exploited...

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

I used to belong to Galvatron. Galvatron was dead, Cyclonus was free. I was the only one left. *looks away again. Right personality, that's exactly it. He was weak enough to be broken, and cowardly enough to do anything and take anything just to survive*

[primus_seeress]

You both lost each other, as well. I'm sure it was not an easy time for Cyclonus, either.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Yeah. Especially since he thought I'd turned traitor out of fear. Was hard on both of us.

[primus_seeress]

You are adjusting, though? He obviously still cares for you; I don't think he disdains you as much as you believe.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

He hides how he feels, a lot. I think he really does, even if he does care for me.

[primus_seeress]

*her optics flicker slightly* But... you're essentially telling me he's disappointed in you, but he still sees in you whatever it is that drew him to you in the first place. It's not quite the same thing. He can look past your fear, and still see you.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Yeah, but that's the problem. "Me" is still a sniveling little coward, and that's the last thing he wants in his army.

[primus_seeress]

Then, if there are no immediate crises, why can you not take the time to rest, and recover? You're traumatized, and your spark has been injured! You cannot expect to suddenly be a warrior again, Decepticon culture or not! *she shakes her head, aghast at Void's tactics. He ensured that Scourge would suffer, even from the behavior of his own people, when Void himself wasn't present...*

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Right, try telling the rest of the Decepticons that. Slag, tell the Autobots that, they expect me to just shake it off because I'm a Decepticons and everyone knows Decepticons don't feel pain. *throws his arms up in exasperation* Cyclonus tried to help and I pushed him away. No one else cares. I'm on my own with this and if I can't hold my own I'm as good as a maintanence drone.

[primus_seeress]

Then do not push him away! Can you not allow him to help you in some small way, at least..? And Primus cares; as his servant, I care, and I'm sure Dreadboots cares. You can't refute everyone's intentions to help. You do not have to be on your own.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

If I can't make it on my own, what good am I? I told you, I couldn't handle it. Now he thinks I want to be alone.

[primus_seeress]

No one can handle life completely on their own. We weren't made to. Not even Decepticons.

*She puts her chin in her hand, silent a moment* I'm starting to think that you should just... take temporary leave of your people, if you can, and find a healthier environment to rest in.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

And go where? Just stay out here in the middle of all this scrap?

[primus_seeress]

No... *she shrugs* If it were my right to recommend it, I would suggest visiting the people you met in the other universe. But, you may also stay in the sanctuary I am keeper of, if you'd like. Other than my own living quarters, I have a few furnished rooms for the occasional refugees; they have not been used in a long while, but I do maintain them.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

*mulls this over for a bit, taking his hand back* Staying here with you? No catch, you get nothing out of it?

[primus_seeress]

*She smiles slightly, shaking her head* The gladness of my god and the beginnings of a healing spark are all the payment I require; and I would be on-hand, whenever you need a listening audio.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

*considers a bit more* Maybe just for a little while, until I get my head together.

[primus_seeress]

*she nods* You are only becoming more self-degrading among your people; you need time away from them, at least. Your dilemma with Cyclonus is not as easily solved, but whether you are actually with him in person or not, you still need time to sort out your fears, and allow your spark to begin mending; perhaps you can re-learn how to be more open with him.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

You think he'd understand why I was doing this? Don't want to piss him off even more.

[primus_seeress]

*She ponders that for a moment* It depends on what impression you've tried to give him, and whether he believes it. You said you pushed him away, and that probably hurts enough as it is; I don't think it would be any worse if you were to leave, with the promise of coming back soon. You really should tell him why you've shut him out, if you haven't. Does he know that you fear what he will find if he remains close?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

If I tell him, he'll never touch me again; I'll be lucky if he doesn't send me to some far-out outpost. *he's infected, tainted down to his spark with chaos and Cyclonus is the last person in this universe who'd want to be near someone like that* Trust me, some things are better left unsaid. If he doesn't think I'm a coward anymore, that's good enough.