Scourge Arrives

[primus_seeress]

*Auspex is wandering in the wildernesses around her sanctuary. There are times she simply needs to see the sky and stars, and seek Primus in the landscape of her homeworld. She drifts over the plains, utilizing her seldom-used hover vehicle mode. She finds a peculiar outcropping of metal, transforms, and climbs up a little higher, to perch on it, and survey the scenery.*

*She has a suspicion Primus has a purpose for her being here... but doesn't he always? She murmurs a prayer as she watches the serene landscape.*

((originally dated 2006-10-14 23:23:00))

Comments

[primus_seeress]

I gather, then, that you were wary of Void, but not truly afraid until Galvatron was killed. Was he the only one who brought you confidence?

Void sounds very true to the Chaos nature: the need to destroy, for simply finding joy in destruction. And... *she sighs* I'm truly sorry that you, and your people, were in that path of destruction. *she glances back at him, momentarily destracted by his wandering gaze* And your timidity is strange to me. You are a warrior, you are strong, and you will not confront the optics of a pacifist priestess? You credit me with more fear than I deserve. *she blinks at him, concerned*

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

*shakes his head* Like I said, you really can't understand without being one of us.

I mean, you should have seen the other Triad. My alternate had so much strength in him, he was everything I couldn't be because he'd been with Galvatron.

[primus_seeress]

I... have a bit of an idea, from what I am sensing from you. *she ponders, with a little sigh* So, your fear was induced by the loss of Galvatron, but was reinforced and... almost made your whole being... by Void? And either a great amount of therapy, or simply Galvatron's presence, will make you feel strong again? *she frowns a little* The therapy is more likely... but have you even had the time to mourn properly?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

A bit. Cyclonus recovered Galvatron's head from the Cocytus and we gave it--*stops, then says more firmly* gave him a proper funeral in the catacombs. Helped us get a little closure. But we're still broken.

[primus_seeress]

*Auspex winces. It is a sad event indeed when there isn't even a whole body to entomb...*

*she nods. She speaks softly* At least there was some at all. But it is this remaining fear that Void instilled in you that is seperating you from your people. The problem with Galvatron is not easily solved; perhaps visiting the other universe on occasion will help ease that pain... but it is the fear that you need to deal with, since you do not have Galvatron to help support you. Again, you will need to tell me of the fears that still haunt you now, and trace them back to their sources.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

I thought that'd be obvious. Void's the source.

[primus_seeress]

Well, I mean, specifically. Events that come back to you, and will not let you rest. Or, do you even remember it all in that way? Did it all just... run together, or were there seperate incidents?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

I get it a lot. Mostly times that Void got bored, or I made him angry somehow. And Cyc wonders why he found that stash of energon in my room.

[primus_seeress]

I get it a lot. Mostly times that Void got bored, or I made him angry somehow. And Cyc wonders why he found that stash of energon in my room.

*she winces slightly* That is not the healthiest way to deal with the problems... but I suppose you saw no other choice, really.

Tell me one, if you can? I want to help. *She reassures again, this is to help him, despite the pain*

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Old habits. Void forgot to feed me, or just had me starve at some points. When I first got back to the base I drank myself sick and passed out on the floor. Felt...kinda good, really. You start to forget things when you're overcharged.

[primus_seeress]

It's a very transitory solution. It doesn't make the pain go away, it only puts it off for awhile. It would be far healthier to talk to me about one of these things.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

It's better than being hungry. I was always hungry, he kept me underfueled enough to make sure I couldn't get too far away from him without collapsing.

[primus_seeress]

*she nods slowly, frowning unhappily at Void's tactics* Hunger can heighten emotional tension as well.

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

Makes it so you can't think as well, either. Other times, he'd say I was greedy and had too much to drink so he'd...take it out of me.

[primus_seeress]

*she turns to him slowly, nodding, hiding her own reaction. Her voice is a little flat, however* How did he do this?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

*Scourge bites at his lip* Took a laser scalpel to my main fuel line. Just slit it open and let me leak while he watched.

[primus_seeress]

*she hisses softly* All right. Tell me, which fear do you remember most strongly? The fear of feeling the hunger, of the pain of the cut... or his reaction to your pain? Or something else entirely?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

*thinks this is both silly and disturbing, but all right* Seeing my fuel leak out on the floor. I couldn't do anything about it.

[primus_seeress]

So, it's not a physical sensation at all that you dreaded most, but the knowledge that you had no control over the outcome? And, if that is the case, as a wild theoretical: if someone, anyone else, not associated with Void, had done such a thing to you at the time, would you have felt the same fear, or would it have been anger, or something else?

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

I'd have been upset no matter who did it, you idiot. It's my damn fuel. *throws his hands up*

[primus_seeress]

*she sighs* It is important! I need to know if you are truly afraid of pain, or are simply afraid of not having control of the situation. I need to know if you were afraid of Void either because of what he was, or because he simply happened to be the one that had control of you!

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

*waves a hand at her* You don't need to know anything! My mind's my own!

[primus_seeress]

*Her optics dim; she is hurt. Her voice is very soft* I know. I needed to know, if I would be of any use to you. Perhaps, if you find my questions so frustrating, you should just tell me of things as they come to you, and I will listen. That may be therapeutic as well, though it will not be quite as much help to you overall. *she is studying her feet intently*

[corruptedhope.livejournal.com]

You sound like some medic asking me if it hurts when you poke there. *sits back, arms draped over his legs* It's not exactly something you can analyze. It's just fear and pain and then more of both.

[primus_seeress]

*Auspex sighs again. She seems to be doing that a lot* I know -- I'm simply trying to get an idea of how you feel, exactly, and I'm only agitating you. *her optics flicker offline* I can't clearly see the emotions you've felt in the past, unless you exhibit them now, where I can sense them. I want so much to help you, but you are turning away.. Just tell me what troubles you! *She looks at him, optics of terrible sadness, with the sorrow of Primus, the fact that she is failing at this, failing to soothe, achieving the opposite of what she is seeking. This is her worst fear: to find brokeness, but be unable to bring solace...*